In all honesty I really have no idea why people keep submitting “Ask Josh” questions, but I love it. I actually just got this one a couple hours ago and needed some easy blog fodder. Remember, “Ask Josh” is a segment I do every so often where I answer your deep, life questions. It’s how I give back to the community. For more information click HERE.

This question is from some girl named Brandy… Is it just me or do I get a lot of questions from women? You know my policy on women is, if they talk to me at all they’re pretty much guaranteed to be in love with me. It’s both a fantasy and a burden. Oh, what’s a boy to do…

Anyways, on to the question:

I ran into my first love a while ago and we started to talk. He said he still loved me and that we should have never broken up. I seen him two times and now every time I plan to go see him he won’t answer the phone or he makes up an excuses not to see me. What is his deal? And do I just need to walk away from him?

Not only do all these questions seem to be from females, they are also usually riddled with grammatical errors. Apparently my blogs main demographic is “dumb whores”. Nevertheless, I will do my best to give a fair and honest answer.

It’s pretty clear to me that the first time you ran into your “first love” he was clearly drunk out of his skull. Sure he said he loves you and that you should have never broken up, but guys will say anything to get pussy, even if it’s deformed from being used constantly (I’m guessing you broke up because you’re a whore, as that’s how all relationships usually end, in my experience). In this case I would suggest you not walk away from him. Just leave a message about how you’ll give him a bunch of liquor… and anal… definitely throw in anal because it “hasn’t been used as much”.

So, he was either super drunk, or he just felt completely sorry for you. He probably saw you walking down street and felt bad because of how ugly and fat you’ve gotten. He most likely just wanted to cheer you up because you’re clearly depressed and on the verge of suicide. Giving you a slight reason to keep on living is probably all he was after. In this situation I’d suggest you not going after him. It would definitely be your best bet to go after a minority now that you’re fat and disgusting, because we all know minorities will fuck anything.

Tags: Ask Josh, Relationship Question