The question is, “Am I Weird?” For instance…

I recently saw the pilot episode of a tv show called “The Riches.” It was a really fantastical show and I liked it a whole hell of a lot. I just don’t ever want to watch it again.

Sometimes I see a girl so cute that I just want to punch her in the face.

I like driving but I hate vehicles.

I like waking up 15 minutes earlier than usual so I can hit the snooze button and get “extra” sleep.

People that I get along with at work I don’t ever want to see them outside of work.

Okay, that’s all I can think of right now. Am I weird or are these normal things and I just don’t know that they are normal? I guess the most normal one for me is the last one about the people I work with. For instance, let’s say you get off work and you need to go get groceries or something. So you’re getting your groceries and you happen to bump into the 55 year old receptionist lady that you work with. If you’re anything like me 95% of the time you don’t even notice that person but you can sense the weirdness.

I don’t know if it’s because she’s not wearing her work clothes or what, but I just cannot seem to place people outside of work. It’s the seeing them out of context that throws me for a loop. Especially when the 55 year old receptionist lady is wearing a bright pink belly shirt that says “SLUT” across the middle. True story.

Then after they see you it’s weird because 5 minutes into the boring conversation you finally realize who they are. Then the next day at work you feel obligated to bring up that you saw them so you say something lame like “hey, how’s that microwavable chicken chimichanga?” And you really never talked to them at work before but now you have this obligation to be friends with them. Constantly making the awkward joke about “hey maybe I’ll see ya tonight in Hy-Vee. Hahaha.” It’s Stupid.

Then of course you come to a crossroads in your relationship with the 55 year old receptionist lady. You can either quit your job, and never go to that grocery store again. Or you can kill her in the woods and make it look like a hunting accident. Though I don’t really know what a 55 year old “SLUT” would be doing hunting in the woods… Unless she’s hunting cock. Zing!