Lacktop
Lately I have been in the market for a brand new laptop. My old one is big and clunky and slow and I’ve just decided that I’m fucking done with it. While I was perusing the internets for a new laptop situation I came across Sony’s site and found a laptop that I really, really liked. Plus the specs were customizable so I was all over making it as cheaply powerful as I could. Well I ran into a problem with that model of laptop, the colors. So I sent the following email to Sony’s customer service.
I have reached quite an unusual problem. I am currently in the market for a new laptop, but to my dismay most laptops are hideous. That’s how I found Sony and their shiny, sleek and powerful laptops. Then I found a laptop that fits my needs, the Sony VGN-CR4000. After doing some pretty good research I decided that it’s the laptop for me. The only problem is that I’m not a woman, or gay, so what color am I supposed to pick? I’m not a huge fan of colors with names like Dove, Sangria, Cosmopolitan, Champagne and Indigo. Not only that but the Black looking laptop is actually crocodile skin? wtf? Laptop? More like lacktop, because this model clearly lacks heterosexuality.
So how about a straight, black version? I wanted a 14.1 inch laptop, but I have a feeling if I bought this one I’d look like I wanted a 14.1 inch cock up my ass.
In all honesty I could probably deal with the white one, but if it’s called “Dove” fuck that. Indigo also isn’t that gay because it’s a navy blue style, but all it makes me think of is the Indigo Girls and that’s fucking gay.
Please fix this, I really need a laptop pretty badly.
PS: Are you guys hiring?
That’ll teach them to fuck with me when I’m bored. If by some magical occurrence they send a reply to this I will be sure to post it up in a future blog, but I won’t hold my breath. Also, if you misspell “occurrence” in a certain fashion, spell check thinks you mean “coinsurance.” WTF?
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By Mai on Jan 22, 2008
lol.
I want this too !
But what is its weight ? And dimensions ?!
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By Daniel on Jan 24, 2008
I was looking at a new laptop for my wife and I came upon your blog while searching for VGN-CR4000. Just wanted to let you know, I laughed so hard when I read your post, cause I was thinking the same damn thing. “These are chick laptops” haha. but perfect for the wifey. I’d like to know what Sony’s reply is to your email though. haha. Take it easy.
-D
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By Jeremy on Jan 25, 2008
+1 million!!! Same as Daniel (and you)–I was like MAJOR WTF regarding black, and yes the other options suck. And Indigo Girls are GAY.
You cracked me up and read my mind. Awesome post!
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By Josh on Feb 4, 2008
After thinking about it for a while I could probably deal with the navy blue one (I will never refer to it as indigo). But now Sony seems to like pushing back release dates or something. Cocks.
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