So lately I feel like my sense of humor has been regressing a bit. It’s not like I giggle every time I hear the word “pencil” because it’s another word for cock, but it’s probably not too far off from going back to that point. I’ll give you a for instance.

Mr. Manhole is a company that advertises with us and I found the name so funny that I had to try to get some sort of paraphernalia with their name on it. Not only that, but I also feel obligated to laugh every time someone says the name around the office and make a manhole related joke at least twice daily. I also try to call someone a “manhole inspector” as often as possible without getting sexual harassments charges pressed on me. It’s really weird though because we also work with a company named Beaver Squeezers and you’d think that’d be funnier, but for some reason to me it isn’t. And yes, that is a Dwight bobblehead from The Office, just to prove that I still have a good, normal sense of humor….

Immature Humor Evidence #2

Yes, that is me with a seemingly huge horse-like cock, or at least that was the joke around the office after this picture was taken. Somehow everyone thought it would be brilliant to make fun of me for having a big penis. Ouch, you got me, guys. Not only does it look like I have a huge penis, but I also think I look terrible in the picture. I pleaded with my boss to let me take the picture with my shirt off so I could feature my two best attributes, my unbelievable pecs and rock hard abs, but sadly she didn’t oblige, so I retaliated by adding a whole new level of sexiness.

At least this isn’t the first time a pants tent has caused problems…

Tags: Manhole, Pants Tent

Welp, it’s been almost two weeks since I’ve posted anything here on my blog so I figured I’d put up little update of sorts. I’ve been kind of busy with things and stuff and trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my life situation (the lack of money part, I’m not gay or anything). Kind of taking it a little chill on the blog lately, half break sort of. Actually, I have a plan for this blog which I’m hoping will bring more good situations from it. I’m going to treat this blog like a woman. I’m going to ignore it completely and act like I don’t need it, then hopefully it will try to win me back with blowjobs (aka more readers and/or money). Then me and blogging will live happily ever after… Until she starts getting hollowed out by black dudes on the side.

Since there has been a lack of entertainment on the blog lately I thought I’d post a video that I just came across that I found slightly comical. It’s titled “The Worst Porn Intro Ever”.

Well, it’s been months and months and months since I received an Ask Josh question here, but this week I’m in luck! I get two! In case you don’t already know Ask Josh is a thing that I came up with where people send me questions about what’s really bothering them in their life. It helps them out and it showcases how much smarter I am than them, so it’s really win/win.

First Question:

I’ve been going through a stressful time in my life lately, going through a divorce and all. With my new found freedom and stress, I bought a pack of cigarettes. Ive smoked off and on since I was 15, but have never considered myself a smoker, or addicted. My question to you, as I’m nearing the last smoke in the pack, is: should I buy a new pack, or stop while I’m ahead in fear of becoming addicted?

Well, let me start off by saying “smoking is awesome”! Seriously, there is nothing more attractive to me in a woman than the scent of stale smoke. Not to mention that when women smoke it makes their internal vag situation like two pieces of sandpaper stuck together with smoky maple syrup. Sexy!

Not only do I recommend you keep smoking, but I also recommend you to chain smoke. The reasoning is quite simple really. You’re single now, you could very well be the next victim of my a sexual attack. Well, each cigarette is like a mini self defense weapon. If some dude comes up to you, cock in hand, just stick your already lit lung candy down the perpetrators peep hole. Or, in case you have to fend off a really, really weak guy, or a small woodland animal, you could fashion together two cigarettes with a small thread and use them like nunchucks.

In addition to all that, I’m going to blame your entire divorce on lack of smokes. Yeah, you read that right. It sounded like you didn’t smoke while you were with him, and all I’m saying is that maybe if you did smoke, even a little bit, it could have saved your marriage. That, and if you weren’t a complete whore. All I’m saying is that maybe you should have spent a little more time smoking cigarettes and a little less time smoking random trucker cock.

Second Question:

is their a man spying me and is going to kidnap me

Yes, there is a man that is spying on you and going to kidnap you. I can also tell you that he is someone you turned your back on long ago. It’s someone that you probably don’t even think about, in any capacity, any longer. He feels like if you stayed with him just a little bit longer he could have helped you become a fulfilled human. He is, your English teacher! Learn how to spell and use punctuation you disappointment to your parents. I actually almost didn’t answer this one because I didn’t know if it was a question or a threat. Never read this blog again, idiot… Unless you’re going to offer me lump sums of money, then come back anytime, friend!

Well, I think that about does it for Ask Josh this week. I’d say, check back next week for another Ask Josh situation, but this is the first one since last September so we all know how that’ll turn out.

Tags: Ask Josh, Cigarettes, Stalkers