Lame Dreamed
I don’t know what’s with me lately, but something has changed and I don’t know what it is. Sleeping used to be awesome to me because my dreams used to be fucking exciting. It’s the only place where I could go from banging five broads at one time to eating a delicious quesadilla with Batman. Then when I’d wake up I’d have this new awesomeness to think about all day during my shitty job. However, lately I’ve been getting lame dreamed like crazy and it’s really quite depressing.
It’s no secret that I’m used to getting screwed over in a dreamy situation, but lately my dreams have reached an all time high on my ridiculous scale. Dreams used to be fun for me. I’d be running super fast away from people and jumping over cars without breaking a sweat. Or I’d be getting in fist fights with tornadoes. It was fucking amazing. The last few nights, however, I’ve been having completely lame, normal dreams.
I’ll start off with the first night. In this dream I happened to be with some random person who I think was a guy I work with, and a hot girl who shall remain nameless. In this dream I saw a couple fat slobs walk by, so I do what I normally do and start cracking jokes about their obeseness. Well, the hot girl was cracking up! She was dying laughing! So my first thought was, “she’s probably going to donate me some vagina now…” But that didn’t happen. We just hung out for a little while longer and then I woke up in an extreme state of “wtf”?
That was a strange dream of nothingness and I didn’t really think too much about it. The very next night I had a similar type of dream. It was basically me and this other girl, just talking like we normally do, as friends. I wasn’t even thinking anything sexual at all. After a couple minutes of normal, every day conversation (which for me is always entertaining and like a thrill ride, ladies) I woke up. This day I did not just brush it off, though. I woke up, sitting straight up in bed and said “What the fuck is going on?”
So what the fuck is going on? Dreams are supposed to be far fetched, so are these dreams basically telling me that it’s far fetched to have conversations with attractive ladies? Are my dreams giving me a big fuck you? I didn’t think I was getting that introverted to where having a conversation with a woman is some sort of dreamy fantasy. Maybe this whole dream lameness is just making up from all these super crazy dreams I had just a few months prior. Sort of an evening out in dream world. After all, I did just die in a dream earlier this year. Not to mention the this next crazy dream I had a mere few months ago.
In this normal crazy dream of mine I was uptown in a futuristic version of the town I live in now. I was in a hotel room for some awesome party situation with all sorts of snacks. Every hotel room had a person standing behind a desk 24/7 to take care of all your requests. Well in this hotel room the person who was behind the desk was a super hot chick. She was super cute in the face and also had a “slammin bod”. So being the ladies man that I am I tell her to hang out for a while and grab some snacks with us normal people. So she walked in and as she was sitting down in a chair that was way too close to the floor her dress came up and I saw a penis! I just looked at her and said “what the fuck was that?” To which she replied “oh, I have an extremely large taint so I grew both a penis and a vagina because there was so much space.”.
I honestly don’t know what I prefer more. Normal conversations with normal chicks, or almost banging some he/she weirdo. I also find it strange, and possibly a little disturbing having a dream where I am hitting on a he/she weirdo makes me feel more like a normal person. Does that make me odd, or some kind of perverted, sexual, “if you have a vagina I don’t care how many cocks you have because I’m probably going to bang you anyways” freak?
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