This is really kind of disturbing. I guess what I lack in blog creativity this week I’m going to make up for in disturbedness(?). It all started on a podcast that I listen to (NLO). The host started with telling a “cringe story” about these images coming in his mind of a slicer, shaving off his nipples. From then on a lot of the listeners have been sending in their cringe stories to the show. I have to say, though, that none of the stories thus far have made me cringe.

Then it happened. I was at work the other day, when the lady that sits behind me went into the large supply closet. When she exited the closet I noticed that she had one of those paper shredders that you place on top of your garbage can. Upon seeing this paper shredding device a disturbing image flooded my mind. I pictured putting the tip of my dick into the small, grinding, metal teeth of the paper shredder as it latches on and starts eating away. I’m guessing the paper shredder would just grind down until it’s stopped by my body, then it’d probably just grind on the already cut strings of what used to be my cock. I don’t even know if a penis could fit into the top of a paper shredder unless it’s completely soft and you smoosh it down.

For everybody else’s stories not bothering me, this little image that came into my mind has been screwing with me ever since. It’s not like I wanted to stick my cock into a paper shredder but it’s just one of those images that jumped in my mind and now I am powerless to it.

I have these sort of crazy thoughts cross my mind all the time. Like once when I was in New York City on top of the Empire State Building I had these clear mental images of me jumping… or pushing just some random person over the side (if there wasn’t a 10 foot high fence surrounding the entire fucking thing). Actually, in most situations that just jump into my headspace it’s me killing someone and then trying to figure out how I would get away with it or not get caught. I also kill ladies in real life with my stunningly good looks, but that’s another story entirely.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Is this normal to have these sort of weird thoughts about killing or mutilating myself or other people? It’s not like I’d ever cross that line, but goddamn it, it’s really making me wonder if I should have myself committed.

Tags: cringe, killing, mutilation