Every once in a while when I’m at work, or just dicking around on the interwebs at home I come up with a little slice of comedy gold. Typically they’re one liners or funny situations that just randomly pop into my head. In these instances I usually click open my Google Doc’s situation and type it out before I forget. But today I just came across a line that legitimately makes me concerned.

My brain is like half broken or something because if I don’t write down the funny line or idea instantly there is a zero percent chance that I’ll remember it later. I think my brain likes to torment me because the only thing I’ll remember is that I did have a brilliant idea and then drive myself crazy for weeks trying to remember it, to no avail. It would be much easier if I either remember the situation perfectly or just forgot it entirely. I’m so sick of this half/kinda/sorta remembering bullshit.

Anyways, every now and again I need some inspiration for a blog post, or just want a quick chuckle so I’ll go back to my idea document to check things out, remember some of the awesomeness I’ve thought of and enjoy. The only problem is that sometimes I don’t write the whole background to the idea out so I have no idea what context it came from, which both renders the idea useless and makes me wonder if I’m really mentally retarded and my parents just forgot to tell me.

I’ll give you an example of one of these lines that I just came across minutes ago:

“I’d lock the door, then lay on the floor behind the desk and masturbate”

Wtf? What is that even in reference too? Thinking back I only half remember writing it down and know it had something to do with a work place situation, but that’s about it. It makes no sense to me at all. What the fuck am I supposed to do with something like that? Put it in my next romantic comedy screenplay about an underachieving work masturbator who has a crush on the high class, attractive executive lady, and just when it seems impossible they somehow make it work? That’s actually not a bad idea. Don’t steal it, I have lawyers… Actually I only have one lawyer and it happens to be a stuffed bear that wears a suit and has a little briefcase, but he could so kick your ass in the court of cuteness.

Tags: bad idea, masturbate